Out Cold price at: amazon
All wavs on this page were sampled at (8 bit mono 11Khz) and all mp3s on this page were sampled at (80kbs 44Khz).
welcome.wav(98K) welcome.mp3(98K) welcome.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Stumpy (David Koechner): "Hey, everybody. Welcome to Bull Mountain, a slice of heaven nestled in the cleavage of Alaska's high country."
eskimos.wav(129K) eskimos.mp3(129K) eskimos.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Stumpy: "It all started when a young buck named Herbert Muntz saw the promise of a new life and staked his claim to it the old-fashioned way, he stole it from the Eskimos."
sametime.wav(113K) sametime.mp3(113K) sametime.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Stumpy: "Papa loved to ski... and Papa loved to drink... but most of all, Papa loved to ski and drink... at the same time!"
hotchicks.wav(122K) hotchicks.mp3(122K) hotchicks.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Pig Pen (Derek Hamilton): "Maybe the buyer can supply the mountain with what it really needs... hot friggin' chicks."
Lance (David Denman): "Whoa, whoa! Hey guys. Guys' you know, more girls? Let's give Lance a chance, all right? I gotta refuel the tanks."
sniffing.wav(23K) sniffing.mp3(23K) sniffing.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Jenny (A.J. Cook): "Are you sniffing me?"
everydude.wav(45K) everydude.mp3(45K) everydude.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Lance: "Oh, man. If I was her, I'd be getting with every dude on this mountain."
rules.wav(200K) rules.mp3(200K) rules.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Luke (Zach Galifianakis): "Good evening. You all know the rules of King of the Mountain. Rule number one: you do not talk about King of the Mountain. Rule numbec two: there are no rules."
Anthony (Flex Alexander): "Uh, what about rule numbec one?"
Luke: "That's more of a guideline than a rule. Do not interrupt!"
wipeout.wav(72K) wipeout.mp3(72K) wipeout.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Luke: "Try not to wipe out like you did last year... and the year before, and both years befor that."
Anthony: "Thanks, Luke, I rally appreciate it."
Luke: "No problem."
fagpractice.wav(95K) fagpractice.mp3(95K) fagpractice.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Luke: "Goin' to drink, everybody!"
Rick Rambis (Jason London): "Well, actually, I have to turn in. I have to give Mr. Mays a snowboard lesson..."
Luke: "I got, uh, fag practice in the morning, so I understand."
hookup.wav(169K) hookup.mp3(169K) hookup.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Rick: "So, you still want to hook up?"
Jenny: "You gotta try a lot harder than that, Rick."
Rick: "(Softer) So, you still want to hook up? How's that?"
Jenny: "Good night."
Rick: "Good night."
pictures.wav(145K) pictures.mp3(145K) pictures.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Lance: "Well, boys, what's it gonna be tonight? We gonna shave his eyebrows?"
Anthony: "Passe. Done that, took pictures."
Pig Pen: "I'm gonna ned a bucket, a paint brush and ten pounds of salt. Lance, get his pants."
asaying.wav(105K) asaying.mp3(105K) asaying.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Ted Muntz (Willie Garson): "The Eskimos around here have a saying: Kwa kwanee kwona kwana taka ko..."
John Majors (Lee Majors): "Whoa, whoa, whoa. Slow down there, Nanook. You're gonna give yourself an aneurysm."
imeric.wav(56K) imeric.mp3(56K) imeric.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Eric Montclare (Thomas Lennon): "I'm Eric Montclare."
Majors: "Yeah, well, who asked you? Just kidding, Short Stack."
thename.wav(145K) thename.mp3(145K) thename.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Ted: "Some mountain, huh?"
Majors: "Yeah, but the name 'Bull Mountain' it's a little too... bleepty."
Ted: "You want to rename the mountain?"
Majors: "Yeah, Something good."
polish.wav(75K) polish.mp3(75K) polish.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Majors: "I'm gonna have to polish this turd if I want to sell my investors on it. I mean, your hotel looks like a Motel 6 ate a yard sale and barfed it out."
pissedoff.wav(65K) pissedoff.mp3(65K) pissedoff.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Rick: "Hey, Muntz, there's some really pissed off Eskimos outside right now man. They say they want their land back."
Ted: "Very funny, Rambis."
thecreeps.wav(175K) thecreeps.mp3(175K) thecreeps.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Majors: "You any good on that board there, son?"
Rick: "I'm alright."
Majors: "You wouldn't mind playing tour guide to an old fart like like me, would you?"
Eric: "Actually Rick's got a pretty heavy workload tomorrow but I would be delighted to show you around the mountain."
Majors: "No offence, Short Stack, but you give me the creeps. I think Rick here'll do just fine."
polarstd.wav(21K) polarstd.mp3(21K) polarstd.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Luke: "Can you get an STD from a polar bear?"
topsoff.wav(116K) topsoff.mp3(116K) topsoff.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Pig Pen: "I need evrybody to be calm and take your tops off. And tie them together. Now! Move! I don't have time to discuss this!"
wicked.wav(14K) wicked.mp3(14K) wicked.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Pig Pen: "Wicked."
acrushon.wav(26K) acrushon.mp3(26K) acrushon.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Luke: "He's had a crush on that bench for a long time."
yournap.wav(13K) yournap.mp3(13K) yournap.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Luke: "You enjoy your nap?"
kingofthe.wav(241K) kingofthe.mp3(241K) kingofthe.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Pig Pen: "So, Rick, did you hit it last night or what?"
Rick: "No, man, we just talked."
Luke: "Oh, god. You jnow, maybe we should clarify something. when you won the race last night that made you King of the Mountain. Not King of the No-ball Pussy Losers. They already have their own king... my brother."
Pig Pen: "What?"
advice.wav(292K) advice.mp3(292K) advice.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Pig Pen: "Here's what I don't get, all right, is you met this chick and you got freaky-deaky with her."
Pig Pen: "And then, poof, she disappears. How's there a problem with that?"
Rick: "Pig Pen, when I want advice about a good 'Planet of the Apes' film or maybe how to get the resin out of my bong, I'll come to you , Okay? But I am not gonna take romantic advice from somebody who cannot spell romantic or advice... or bong."
ifitellyou.wav(39K) ifitellyou.mp3(39K) ifitellyou.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Rick: "Well, if I tell you, will you promise to shut up about it?"
Pig Pen: "No."
romantic.wav(107K) romantic.mp3(107K) romantic.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Rick: "Well, I met her at the most beautiful, romantic place on earth, Cancun, Mexico. It was this little place called Pedro O'Horney's."
themoment.wav(111K) themoment.mp3(111K) themoment.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Rick: "From the moment we caught eyes I knew she wasn't like the other girls there. She was French. She had her top on. Plus, she wasn't puking."
likeheaven.wav(42K) likeheaven.mp3(42K) likeheaven.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Rick: "It was like heaven, but you couldn't drink the water."
dejected.wav(86K) dejected.mp3(86K) dejected.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Luke: "A little sensitivity here! God, can't you see this is a dejected man? Well, Rick, get your dejected head out of your ass."
yeah.wav(12K) yeah.mp3(12K) yeah.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Pig Pen: "Yeah."
carpediem.wav(51K) carpediem.mp3(51K) carpediem.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Pig Pen: "Carpe the diem. Sieze the... carp!"
seizethecarp.wav(47K) seizethecarp.mp3(47K) seizethecarp.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Luke: "Seize the carp?"
Pig Pen: "What? (Luke hit's him) Ow!"
immature.wav(154K) immature.mp3(154K) immature.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Rick: "You're pretty good with these kids, Jenny."
Jenny: "Yeah? I seem to have a thing for immature boys."
Jenny: "At least Stewart has his act together enough to ask me out. I think we're checking out a movie right after his nap time. Yes!"
onadate.wav(186K) onadate.mp3(186K) onadate.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Rick: "Would you like to have dinner with me tomorrow night?"
Jenny: "I'm sorry, it sounded like you're asking me out on a date."
Rick: "We could meet at the Inn, say, 8:00."
Rick: "Right now, I have to go seize the carp. Wish me luck."
Jenny: "I'll see you there."
mrmajors.wav(87K) mrmajors.mp3(87K) mrmajors.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Rick: "Morning, Mr. Majors."
Majors: "Oh, please, please. My daddy was Mr. Majors. Actually, he was Mr. Mankowicz. Just call me 'John.'"
chatrooms.wav(88K) chatrooms.mp3(88K) chatrooms.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Stumpy: "Hey, Pig Pen, you ever been on one of those lesbian chat rooms?"
Pig Pen: "Are they good?"
Stumpy: "I don't know."
Pig Pen: "No."
youskithat.wav(30K) youskithat.mp3(30K) youskithat.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Majors: "Damn, you ski that?"
Rick: "Yeah, it's awesome."
lotsandlots.wav(40K) lotsandlots.mp3(40K) lotsandlots.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Ted: "I'm selling it for lots and lots of American dollars."
homies.wav(101K) homies.mp3(101K) homies.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Majors: "Now, I know we're all gonna be homies but I do believe in the golden rule, and that is, he who has the gold card makes the rules."
pipedown.wav(12K) pipedown.mp3(12K) pipedown.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Majors: "Pipe down, retard."
numbnuts.wav(98K) numbnuts.mp3(98K) numbnuts.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Majors: "Any questions you might have will be answered in your new rule book... which numbnuts here is gonna pass out."
Ted: "I think that's you."
mydice.wav(64K) mydice.mp3(64K) mydice.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Luke: "Well, yeah, it doesn't really allow my dice to roll domn there' and by dice, I mean testicles. Speaking of testicles, let me get a beer."
itsallgood.wav(119K) itsallgood.mp3(119K) itsallgood.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Lance: "There are gonna be some hotties, some slammin' bods with pants so tight it looks like they're painted on. Babe, I love chicks. Chicks love me, so it's all good."
president.wav(122K) president.mp3(122K) president.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Stumpy: "I was there. Yeah, it was called the 80's. Ford was president, Nixon was in the White House, and FDR was runnin' this country into the ground."
calledutah.wav(410K) calledutah.mp3(410K) calledutah.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Stumpy: "I was bummin' in a hole-in-the-wall town in what is now called Utah. Some fella from Colorado shows up, starts makin' so-called improvements. Right? Well, 'fore we know what hit us, the streets are runnin' with latte."
Stumpy: "Yep. It got so bad that a fellow that liked to, you know, smoke a little grass, or drink a little ripple, crow like a rooster, maybe challenge the mayor's son to a gentleman's duel was uncouth against God. More like bad for real estate values. Stumpy had to go! Richard, be careful what you wish for."
confidence.wav(66K) confidence.mp3(66K) confidence.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Luke: "Boys, watch confidence at work."
Pig Pen: "Be strong."
Luke: "Oh, god, here she comes."
coldbeer.wav(281K) coldbeer.mp3(281K) coldbeer.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Luke: "Oh my god!"
Anna (Caroline Dhavernas): "How aro you?"
Luke: "I'm fine."
Anna: "It's been a long time."
Anna: "What are you doing here?"
Luke: "I was having a beer."
Anna: "In Alaska?"
Luke: "Well, I like cold beer, yeah."
Anna: "Does that mean, uh, is Rick around?"
Luke: "Om, no. You didn't hear? Rirk Perished in a dogsled accedent. Four dogsled pileup."
Luke: "And it's... it's awful. The dogs survived, though."
Anna: "You used to be a much better liar."
walkmeout.wav(18K) walkmeout.mp3(18K) walkmeout.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Majors: "Retard, walk me out, huh."
ofallthbars.wav(50K) ofallthbars.mp3(50K) ofallthbars.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Rick: "Of all the bars in all the ski towns in Alaska, why'd she have to come to this one?"
invented.wav(66K) invented.mp3(66K) invented.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Stumpy: "Did I ever tell you how I invented snowboarding?"
Snowboarder: "Oh yeah?"
dribbling.wav(29K) dribbling.mp3(29K) dribbling.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Pissing Man: "Hey, you're dribbling! Watch the shoes!"
igotyourback.wav(112K) igotyourback.mp3(112K) igotyourback.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Luke: "Where's Inga going?"
Pig Pen: "Anthony."
Luke: "Don't you worry, little brother. I got your back on this one. I'm gonna do her."
Pig Pen: "What... how does that help me?"
mynuts.wav(35K) mynuts.mp3(35K) mynuts.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Rick: "Make yourself at home."
Rick: "Just don't him me anymore in my nuts."
thesescars.wav(195K) thesescars.mp3(195K) thesescars.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Inga (Victoria Silvstedt): "Tell me, where did you get these scars?"
Luke: "Oh, let's see."
Luke: "Skateboard, truck accident, and a fire hydrant."
Inga: "I bet each one has it's own exciting story, no?"
Luke: "No, not really. I skateboarded off a truck into a fire hydrant."
saying.wav(347K) saying.mp3(347K) saying.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Inga: "I never met an american boy before. Are you all so wild?"
Luke: "Yeah. We have a saying around here."
Inga: "Oh, yeah?"
Luke: "Yeah. No brains, no headache."
Inga: "We have a saying in Switzerland, too."
Inga: "No swimsuit, no tan lines."
Luke: "Uh, we have another saying around here."
Inga: "Uh-huh, what's that?"
Luke: "I don't know."
cuddle.wav(164K) cuddle.mp3(164K) cuddle.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Luke: "No, no, no. What... Wht aro your doing?"
Inga: "Schlafenzeit. Sleepy time. I'm going to bed now."
Luke: "Oh, no, no, no."
Inga: "I'm sleepy."
Luke: "Oh, no, well, stay. We'll cuddle. We'll cuddle. We'll cuddle."
andpilot.wav(191K) andpilot.mp3(191K) andpilot.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Rick: "Your fiance..."
Anna: "Barry. He's in medical school. He's flying up in a couple of days to see me."
Rick: "Well, that's gonna be a little tricky unless he's a pilot, too. He's a pilot, too? He's a doctor and a pilot?"
Rick: "I think I want to have sex with this guy."
ninewords.wav(110K) ninewords.mp3(110K) ninewords.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Stumpy: "How's the hot tub, Luke? You know the Eskimo have nine words for hell mooch stuck in a hot tub. Hell, they only got eight words for snow."
worthit.wav(13K) worthit.mp3(13K) worthit.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Stupy: "Was it worth it?"
roughnight.wav(24K) roughnight.mp3(24K) roughnight.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Rick: "Rough night?"
Luke: "I've had worse."
hottub.wav(147K) hottub.mp3(147K) hottub.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Rick: "Anna's getting married... to some rich asswipe doctor dude named Barry. He's coming in day after tomorrow."
Rick: "Thanks, man."
Luke: "No, I got molested by a hot tub last night. It's a long story."
reallyhate.wav(79K) reallyhate.mp3(79K) reallyhate.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Rick: "You know what I really hate about this chick is that I think... I know that I'm in love with her. And it sucks."
noregrets.wav(62K) noregrets.mp3(62K) noregrets.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Luke: "'No regrets'. That's my motto. That and 'Everybody Wang Chung Tonight.'"
facehim.wav(101K) facehim.mp3(101K) facehim.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Rick: "When this Barry guy gets here, I'm gonna have to face him. And I'm gonna look at him and tell him like a sensible mature adult 'Finders keepers, losers weepers, pal.'"
whothehell.wav(14K) whothehell.mp3(14K) whothehell.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Anthony: "Man, who the hell are you?"
keepinit.wav(50K) keepinit.mp3(50K) keepinit.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Team Snownook Leader (Adam Harrington): "I'm the new Team Snownook patrol leader. Keepin' it real while keepin' it safe."
grabass.wav(28K) grabass.mp3(28K) grabass.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Eric: "You, on the roof, knock off the grab ass."
eyeball.wav(27K) eyeball.mp3(27K) eyeball.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Luke: "What the hell is going on here?"
Eric: "Don't you eyeball me."
flirting.wav(174K) flirting.mp3(174K) flirting.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Eric: "Why don't you mind your own beeswax, before my fist makes an appointment with your ass?"
Luke: "Eric, you ever notice that you're always talking about putting something up my ass? And that time, it wasn't even a threat. Technically, that was flirting."
thehorn.wav(15K) thehorn.mp3(15K) thehorn.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Eric: "Talk to the horn."
littleelvis.wav(36K) littleelvis.mp3(36K) littleelvis.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Majors: "This morning there was a boy with his little elvis stuck in my hot tub."
drugtest.wav(101K) drugtest.mp3(101K) drugtest.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Eric: "Welcome to your first random drug test."
Nurse (Rheta Hutton): "I'll need you to fill these cups."
Eric: "Go make tinkle, or it's your job."
Pig Pen: "I don't have to write a test to tell you that I take drugs."
underwear.wav(71K) underwear.mp3(71K) underwear.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Rick: "You're not wearing underwear."
Anna: "You can't with this dress."
Rick: "Oh, your excuse is better than mine."
toboogie.wav(26K) toboogie.mp3(26K) toboogie.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Majors: "Dance with Tito there. He loves to boogie."
kungfu.wav(84K) kungfu.mp3(84K) kungfu.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Pig Pen: "I'm gonna take Kung Fu and kick your friggin' ass. We'll have the party at our place. We don't need their fancy-shmancy bleep and their blue ropes."
shavewhat.wav(47K) shavewhat.mp3(47K) shavewhat.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Luke: "Does this mean I have to kiss your ass now?"
Rick: "As long as you shave."
Luke: "Shave what?"
Rick: "My ass!"
beautiful.wav(137K) beautiful.mp3(137K) beautiful.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Luke: "Hey, yeah, there you are! Come inside. You look so beautiful tonight I wanted to see if you wanted to dance. Come on. Not you. Him in his white tuxedo."
casanova.wav(158K) casanova.mp3(158K) casanova.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Barry (Todd Richards): "So, who's the, uh, jacuzzi Casanova?"
Stumpy: "Oh, that's him right there! Yeah, they call him that 'cause he had himself up in it, you know, lovin' it strong."
Luke: "Thank you, Stumpy."
Stumpy: "No problem!"
takethese.wav(76K) takethese.mp3(76K) takethese.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Barry: "Take these twice a day and you will be back at the plate in no time."
Luke: "Oh. Will these make it bigger?"
Lance: "Oh, that'd be nice."
crippled.wav(83K) crippled.mp3(83K) crippled.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Pig Pen: "So aro you like a crippled guy?"
Barry: "No, I'm just a really lazy guy."
feelthat.wav(123K) feelthat.mp3(123K) feelthat.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Barry: "Ever since I was a little kid I wanted to be either a doctor or a blooper so it's basically win-win for me except now I can't feel my legs."
Anthony: "Pig Pen, what are you doing?"
Pig Pen: "He doesn't feel that."
yourface.wav(120K) yourface.mp3(120K) yourface.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Luke: "And you're gonna side with Majors who calls you a retard to your face? I mean, we say stuff like that too but not to your face. And you know why? We're your friends."
werule.wav(25K) werule.mp3(25K) werule.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Snownook Guys: "We rule!"
burnin.wav(12K) burnin.mp3(12K) burnin.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Pig Pen: "Needed burnin'."
familiar.wav(110K) familiar.mp3(110K) familiar.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Pig Pen: "I mean what are we gonna do now? You know, I'm not good at anything else. Not that I was good at this, whatever the hell this whole thing was but at least it was familiar to me."
getlaid.wav(112K) getlaid.mp3(112K) getlaid.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Pig Pen: "Guys on oil rigs get laid a lot, right?"
Luke: "On their occasional break from their 19-hour work day in the freezing sleet, yeah, they get laid all the time, Pig Pen."
Pig Pen: "All right, I'm down."
honorable.wav(131K) honorable.mp3(131K) honorable.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Pig Pen: "We should go and say good-bye to Rick."
Luke: "No, no, no. He knows that we're leaving then he's gonna throw it all away. SO, we have to do the honorable thing and steal a few street signs and leave town with our tail between our legs."
weirdguy.wav(505K) weirdguy.mp3(505K) weirdguy.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Lance: "Ever since they took my bar away from me I've been doing a lot of thinking. A lot of drinking and a lot of thinking. A lot of thinking about why I act the way I do. Why I feel the need to have countless sexual conquests one after the other and I think it's due to the fact that I'm uh... I don't know how to say this. I'm..."
Lance: "No. What?"
Lance: "No! Come on, guys! Mr. October batting for the other team?"
Luke: "Lance, everybody knows. Nobody cares."
Pig Pen: "It's okay. You know? I mean, if you weren't gay, you'd be a pretty weird guy."
family.wav(173K) family.mp3(173K) family.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Majors: "Hey, Rick, lookin' good. Money suits you."
Rick: "Thanks, Mr. Majors."
Majors: "Mr. Majors? What happened to John? After all, you're practically family now. And not that bogus Majors Resort 'family' that I tell the mimimum wagers they're in either."
iquit.wav(8K) iquit.mp3(8K) iquit.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Rick: "I quit!"
300hat.wav(22K) 300hat.mp3(22K) 300hat.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Majors: "That's a $300 hat, bitch!"
westoleit.wav(92K) westoleit.mp3(92K) westoleit.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Pig Pen: "Snownook's not our town, Rick. You know, Bull Mountain, that was our town."
Anthony: "Well, technically it belonged to the Eskimos but we stole it fair and sqare."
lastwords.wav(143K) lastwords.mp3(143K) lastwords.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Rick: "You guys remember Papa Muntz's last... his last toast, right before he died?"
Luke: "No, remind me."
Rick: "He held up his beer, he looked at the mountain that he loves and he said, 'Don't go changin'.''"
Lance: "His last words were from a Billy Joel song?"
manofwords.wav(437K) manofwords.mp3(437K) manofwords.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Pig Pen: "I've never been a man of... of words but there's something that I have to say to you. Inga, I've loved you from the first time that I saw you and I love you more than any man's loved a woman um, that he's never actually spoken to. I'm only gonna offer this once. Inga, will you, um... have sex with me?"
Inga: "Nothing would piss off my stepfather more."
thisdream.wav(52K) thisdream.mp3(52K) thisdream.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Majors: "Now, with my signature and your money we can make this dream come true."
mhatthehell.wav(25K) mhatthehell.mp3(25K) mhatthehell.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Majors: "What the hell is Captain Cripple doing here?"
whatsup.wav(23K) whatsup.mp3(23K) whatsup.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Snownook Guy: "So, what's up?"
Snownook Guy: "Guard duty."
Snownook Guy: "Nice!"
afternoon.wav(15K) afternoon.mp3(15K) afternoon.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Luke: "Afternoon everybody."
ungrateful.wav(20K) ungrateful.mp3(20K) ungrateful.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Majors: "You ungrateful jerk!"
forirony.wav(14K) forirony.mp3(14K) forirony.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Luke: "How's that for irony?"
imyourfather.wav(83K) imyourfather.mp3(83K) imyourfather.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Stumpy: "Rick! I'm your father."
Rick: "Okay, whatever. Go, go, get out of here."
hellofadeal.wav(48K) hellofadeal.mp3(48K) hellofadeal.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Majors: "So there's a few bad apples! So my daughter's a whore! But, this is a hell of a deal!"
pedroohorneys.wav(22K) pedroohorneys.mp3(22K) pedroohorneys.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Rick: "Look, we'll always have Pedro O'Horney's, right?"
callme.wav(165K) callme.mp3(165K) callme.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Majors: "You think this is funny, retard? Ow! Damn, what was that? You hit my ear. You even fight like a retard."
Ted: "Do ti! Call me retard one more time! Do it!"
Majors: "Retard! Retard!"
Ted: "I hate you! I hate you!"
donthaveto.wav(149K) donthaveto.mp3(149K) donthaveto.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Lance: "Whoa, hey! Hot sluts with tits."
Rick: "Lance, you don't have to do that anymore, buddy."
Lance: "Oh, sorry. I... Old habits die hard. I love men!"
Rick: "Lance, you don't have to do that, either."
rightanswer.wav(60K) rightanswer.mp3(60K) rightanswer.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Jenny: "So, do you ever miss her?"
Jenny: "That is the right answer."
youknow.wav(64K) youknow.mp3(64K) youknow.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Stumpy: "You know, things worked out pretty well for our friends up here on Bull Mountain."
mightywell.wav(46K) mightywell.mp3(46K) mightywell.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Stumpy: "Two sweet kids like that, they could do mighty well by one another."
beentoreno.wav(164K) beentoreno.mp3(164K) beentoreno.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Stumpy: "Anybody who tells you that money won't buy you love, hell, they ain't never been to Reno. I was at the buffet table. This gal comes up to me, and I flash them dimes and we went right up to her hotel room... well, it was a car."
genius.wav(33K) genius.mp3(33K) genius.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Majors: "Hey, you're pretty good on that thing, son."
Rick: "Yeah, I'm a genius."
uniform1.wav(22K) uniform1.mp3(22K) uniform1.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Luke: "This uniform makes my nuts rageous."
hardyboys.wav(43K) hardyboys.mp3(43K) hardyboys.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Luke: "This uniform's really cramping my Hardy Boys. It's no mystery."
goldstandard.wav(157K) goldstandard.mp3(157K) goldstandard.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Stumpy: "When this country went off the gold standard, your paper is paper, nothin' more than paper. And if you don't believe me, by god you go talk to Alan Greenspan! I swear to god, he's runnin' this country!"