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All wavs on this page were sampled at (8 bit mono 11Khz) and all mp3s on this page were sampled at (80kbs 44Khz).
revbrdcs.wav(62K) revbrdcs.mp3(62K) revbrdcs.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Lisa: "The revolution will be broadcast."
childsht.wav(207K) childsht.mp3(207K) childsht.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Bill: "When I was a child, I thought as a child and spoke as a child. When I became a man, I took that child out back and had him shot."
frndship.wav(134K) frndship.mp3(134K) frndship.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Bill: "There comes a time in every friendship when you have to say, 'I never liked you. Get lost.'"
rainscum.wav(82K) rainscum.mp3(82K) rainscum.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Dave: "I can't believe the rain hasn't washed you into the gutter with all the other scum."
sweetcns.wav(50K) sweetcns.mp3(50K) sweetcns.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Joe: "Sexual harrasment is no joke sweet-cans."
11/11/97 - Bill gets in trouble when he tells people to pull foreign diplomats from their cars and beat them.
anatmbra.wav(88K) anatmbra.mp3(88K) anatmbra.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Bill: "Is it getting chilly in here or are you wearing an anatomically correct bra?"
tbcoimpl.wav(128K) tbcoimpl.mp3(128K) tbcoimpl.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Mr. James: "I've got so many lawyers standing in line to see me now you'd think I have tobacco leaking out of my breast implants."
happytrl.wav(32K) happytrl.mp3(32K) happytrl.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Bill: "Happy trails spaz."
hlfnaked.wav(89K) hlfnaked.mp3(89K) hlfnaked.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Lisa & Matthew: "You're half naked!" "An optimist would say I'm half dressed."
hotcmptr.wav(35K) hotcmptr.mp3(35K) hotcmptr.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Joe: "Hot computer coming through!"
mnyscrew.wav(80K) mnyscrew.mp3(80K) mnyscrew.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Bill: "Then again, another wise man said 'If you can get more money, screw your friends.'"
pirahna.wav(67K) pirahna.mp3(67K) pirahna.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Mr. James: "You don't drop a pirahna in the kiddie pool and then stick around to watch the bubbles."
09/23/97 - Jon Lovitz guest stars as an unemlpoyed man threatening to jump off the building, but Mr. James saves the day.
jj_inc.wav(161K) jj_inc.mp3(161K) jj_inc.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Mr. James: "Well, there you have it folks. Another happy ending from the good people at Jimmy James Incorporated."
woops.wav(13K) woops.mp3(13K) woops.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Mr. James: "Woops."
ducttape.wav(99K) ducttape.mp3(99K) ducttape.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Joe: "Duct tape was invented a long time before you were born by somebody really smart. The end."
dude_man.wav(32K) dude_man.mp3(32K) dude_man.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Joe: "Dude, you're the man."
enjoybst.wav(80K) enjoybst.mp3(80K) enjoybst.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Bill: "You're really enjoying this aren't you, you sick bastard..."
hi_bitch.wav(16K) hi_bitch.mp3(16K) hi_bitch.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Matthew: "Hi bitch."
net_down.wav(48K) net_down.mp3(48K) net_down.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Bill: "Do you notice the computer network is still down?"
redwelts.wav(62K) redwelts.mp3(62K) redwelts.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Matthew: "I have itchy red welts on my buttocks!"
slcpleas.wav(23K) slcpleas.mp3(23K) slcpleas.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Bill: "Silence if you please!"
thtcntrl.wav(80K) thtcntrl.mp3(80K) thtcntrl.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Bill: "We don't need your education. We don't need your thought control."
toldhell.wav(62K) toldhell.mp3(62K) toldhell.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Bill: "Oh I'd been told hell was going to freeze over..."
wentbetr.wav(50K) wentbetr.mp3(50K) wentbetr.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Dave: "That went better than I could have possibly imagined."
whtwrong.wav(27K) whtwrong.mp3(27K) whtwrong.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Dave: "What is wrong with you?"