All wavs on this page were sampled at (8 bit mono 11Khz) and all mp3s on this page were sampled at (80kbs 44Khz).

211_barbradyhint.wav(96K) 211_barbradyhint.mp3(96K) 211_barbradyhint.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Officer Barbrady: "Ok, I'll be quick then..."

211_barnaby.wav(68K) 211_barnaby.mp3(68K) 211_barnaby.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "The end of the Barnaby Jones episode..."

211_bingo.wav(219K) 211_bingo.mp3(219K) 211_bingo.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "...was a farmer who had a dog..."

211_boring.wav(65K) 211_boring.mp3(65K) 211_boring.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Mr. Garrison: "You're all going to the planetarium tomorrow, and you're all going to love it."

211_bothhands.wav(38K) 211_bothhands.mp3(38K) 211_bothhands.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Kyle: "You couldn't get both of your arms behind your back, fatass!"

211_brothel.wav(45K) 211_brothel.mp3(45K) 211_brothel.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Mr. Garrison: "...this is a planetarium, not a Bangcok Brothel, lets behave ourselves."

211_cartmanhaiku.wav(78K) 211_cartmanhaiku.mp3(78K) 211_cartmanhaiku.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Cartman: "Shut your bleep damn mouth, or else I'm gonna kick you squa in the balls... bleephole."

211_cartmanontv.wav(155K) 211_cartmanontv.mp3(155K) 211_cartmanontv.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Cartman: "... Lame."

211_cartmanwins.wav(128K) 211_cartmanwins.mp3(128K) 211_cartmanwins.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "...the other children have unexpectedly taken jobs as volunteers at the planetarium."

211_cheesyad.wav(159K) 211_cheesyad.mp3(159K) 211_cheesyad.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Cartman: "I love Cheesy Poofs!   You love Cheesy Poofs!"

211_chef.wav(112K) 211_chef.mp3(112K) 211_chef.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Chef: "Welcome to the planetarium."

211_coolmusic.wav(62K) 211_coolmusic.mp3(62K) 211_coolmusic.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "Some cool, creepy sounding music."

211_crusades.wav(70K) 211_crusades.mp3(70K) 211_crusades.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "And these two little stars over here form the constellation, 'The Crusades'."

211_discharge.wav(75K) 211_discharge.mp3(75K) 211_discharge.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Stan: "What's a discharge?"

211_dontpick1.wav(50K) 211_dontpick1.mp3(50K) 211_dontpick1.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Cartman: "I wasn't picking it, I was itching it, for crying out loud!"

211_dontpick2.wav(73K) 211_dontpick2.mp3(73K) 211_dontpick2.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Cartman: "I'm not picking it mom, bleep damnit, I had an itch!"

211_drugsgood.wav(35K) 211_drugsgood.mp3(35K) 211_drugsgood.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Mr. Makey: "Drugs are good, mmmkay?"

211_example.wav(56K) 211_example.mp3(56K) 211_example.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Mr. Garrison: "For an example - where's Eric Cartman?"

211_eyebooger.wav(56K) 211_eyebooger.mp3(56K) 211_eyebooger.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Cartman: "Wait!  Wait, you've got a little eye booger, hun."

211_fieldtrip.wav(75K) 211_fieldtrip.mp3(75K) 211_fieldtrip.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Mr. Garrison: "It just so happens we are going on a field trip tomorrow."

211_followme.wav(25K) 211_followme.mp3(25K) 211_followme.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Officer Barbrady: "Will you please follow me..."

211_fuentes.wav(52K) 211_fuentes.mp3(52K) 211_fuentes.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Nurse Golum: "He's been talking about the machine for hours... and Daisy Fuentes."

211_goback.wav(106K) 211_goback.mp3(106K) 211_goback.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Kyle: "Since haikus suck so much ass, can we go back to the planetarium again?"

211_grandma.wav(137K) 211_grandma.mp3(137K) 211_grandma.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Cartman: "...ok, bye!"

211_haiku.wav(45K) 211_haiku.mp3(45K) 211_haiku.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Mr. Garrison: "...is just like a normal American poem, except it doesn't rhyme and is totally stupid."

211_haikuinsults.wav(66K) 211_haikuinsults.mp3(66K) 211_haikuinsults.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Cartman: "Your haiku insults have no effect on me Kyle, I'm regional champion."

211_hero.wav(73K) 211_hero.mp3(73K) 211_hero.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Cartman: "bleepdamnit mom I wasn't picking it, I had an itch!"

211_heston.wav(97K) 211_heston.mp3(97K) 211_heston.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Mr. Makey: "Oh no, apparently he thinks he is Charleton Heston."

211_highl...wav(101K) 211_highl...mp3(101K) 211_highl...m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "Even your highly intelligent policeman is no match for me!"

211_howitworks.wav(34K) 211_howitworks.mp3(34K) 211_howitworks.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "But first I want to show you how the planearium works."

211_imagineit.wav(32K) 211_imagineit.mp3(32K) 211_imagineit.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Kyle: "Can you imagaine it Stan.  A mind... empty, by that... thing."

211_jealous.wav(48K) 211_jealous.mp3(48K) 211_jealous.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Cartman: "It shows how jealous you are Kyle, it really does."

211_jesuslady.wav(94K) 211_jesuslady.mp3(94K) 211_jesuslady.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Ms. Crabtree: "You do it like this, "SIT DOWN!  SHUT UP!""

211_justtime.wav(55K) 211_justtime.mp3(55K) 211_justtime.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Mr. Makey: "Just time to prepare nurse... just time... mmkay?"

211_killedkenny.wav(138K) 211_killedkenny.mp3(138K) 211_killedkenny.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Stan: "Oh my god, we've killed Kenny."
Kyle: "We're bastards!"

211_killer.wav(77K) 211_killer.mp3(77K) 211_killer.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "I hope this goes on for like, seven months, man."

211_kissmyass.wav(43K) 211_kissmyass.mp3(43K) 211_kissmyass.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Cartman: "Well, well, well.   You guys can all kiss my ass because I was on television."

211_kylehaiku.wav(45K) 211_kylehaiku.mp3(45K) 211_kylehaiku.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Kyle: "I bet you don't win.  They don't let big fatasses perform on TV."

211_lasershows.wav(57K) 211_lasershows.mp3(57K) 211_lasershows.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "...this week is Laser Kenny Loggins and Laser James Taylor!"

211_littledreams.wav(47K) 211_littledreams.mp3(47K) 211_littledreams.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Cartman: "Its all my little friends with their little dreams."

211_lovemywork.wav(74K) 211_lovemywork.mp3(74K) 211_lovemywork.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "I love my work!"

211_metoo.wav(41K) 211_metoo.mp3(41K) 211_metoo.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "The class agrees that they want to volunteer at the planetarium."

211_montalban.wav(38K) 211_montalban.mp3(38K) 211_montalban.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "... a 34 year old Asian man who likes strikingly similar to Ricardo Montalban."

211_needle.wav(106K) 211_needle.mp3(106K) 211_needle.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "... to not do so makes your stomach ache with needle like stabs."

211_newsreport.wav(82K) 211_newsreport.mp3(82K) 211_newsreport.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "... that is really isn't as lame and stupid as one suspected."

211_normal.wav(91K) 211_normal.mp3(91K) 211_normal.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Mr. Garrison: "Why don't you tell us how Barnaby Jones knew the poison was in the milk."

211_openminded.wav(142K) 211_openminded.mp3(142K) 211_openminded.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Mr. Makey: "For a woman with a dead fetus on her head, you aren't being very open minded."

211_painkiller.wav(191K) 211_painkiller.mp3(191K) 211_painkiller.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "No!  No painkillers, I'll be ok!"

211_piggy.wav(32K) 211_piggy.mp3(32K) 211_piggy.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Cartman: "Oh, you look great, hon!   Momma's fat little piggy!"

211_planearium.wav(94K) 211_planearium.mp3(94K) 211_planearium.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "I have a bone disease which impedes my ability to pronounce the T in planearium."

211_psyche.wav(83K) 211_psyche.mp3(83K) 211_psyche.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Cartman: "Oh look, they're throwing out bread outside!"

211_rant.wav(88K) 211_rant.mp3(88K) 211_rant.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Cartman: "But I want go sing the Cheesy Poof song..."

211_shoes.wav(51K) 211_shoes.mp3(51K) 211_shoes.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "I'm not liking the shoes... can we change the shoes?"

211_society.wav(111K) 211_society.mp3(111K) 211_society.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Mr. Garrison: "Why don't you not pay attention to Barnaby Jones and lets see how far you get in society."

211_suckass.wav(13K) 211_suckass.mp3(13K) 211_suckass.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Cartman: "Planetariums suck ass!"

211_suckedass.wav(75K) 211_suckedass.mp3(75K) 211_suckedass.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Cartman: "Excuse me, but I do belive that sucked ass."

211_suckonthat.wav(129K) 211_suckonthat.mp3(129K) 211_suckonthat.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Cartman: "... I'm talking Night Court in its fifth season lame! "

211_sweet.wav(66K) 211_sweet.mp3(66K) 211_sweet.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Stan: "Me neither... but I love the planetarium!"

211_taunt.wav(107K) 211_taunt.mp3(107K) 211_taunt.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Cartman: "Did you have a Regional Certificate Wendy?  No?  Apparently, only I do!"

211_themachine.wav(67K) 211_themachine.mp3(67K) 211_themachine.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Mr. Makey: "The machine is "aargh".  That's probably bad."

211_theodore.wav(70K) 211_theodore.mp3(70K) 211_theodore.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "And next is "Eric Theodore Cartman"."

211_totalrecall.wav(263K) 211_totalrecall.mp3(263K) 211_totalrecall.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Mr. Makey: "He uses the machine, the star machine, mmkay, he uses it to erase minds..."

211_tripping.wav(113K) 211_tripping.mp3(113K) 211_tripping.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "Dude, I'm totally tripping!"

211_turd.wav(36K) 211_turd.mp3(36K) 211_turd.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Kyle: "Fatass Cartman was not on the schoolbus today.  What a big fat turd."

211_vangelder.wav(172K) 211_vangelder.mp3(172K) 211_vangelder.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Stan: "Van Gelder?  What the hell are you doing on our bus?"

211_victoria.wav(72K) 211_victoria.mp3(72K) 211_victoria.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Princupal Victoria: "I think tonight the planetarium is doing Laser Loggins, I might have to check it out."

211_volunteer.wav(45K) 211_volunteer.mp3(45K) 211_volunteer.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Stan: "We're kids, we don't volunteer for anything!"

211_wantt...wav(35K) 211_wantt...mp3(35K) 211_wantt...m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Mr. Garrison: "Oh, for pete's sake, Clyde, you just went!"

211_watchstep.wav(50K) 211_watchstep.mp3(50K) 211_watchstep.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Ms. Crabtree: "Watch your step on the way down so as not to hurt yourself!"

211_whoopee.wav(57K) 211_whoopee.mp3(57K) 211_whoopee.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "... and now I'm going to dim the lights and let the stars come out."

211_winregional.wav(55K) 211_winregional.mp3(55K) 211_winregional.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Cartman: "Well... I might have been over at the Cheesy Poof call backs winning the Regional Championship."

211_workshard.wav(225K) 211_workshard.mp3(225K) 211_workshard.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Cartman: "She works hard for the money.  So hard for her honey..."

211_worse...wav(120K) 211_worse...mp3(120K) 211_worse...m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Officer Barbrady: "Not so fast there, tubby... I'm just taking care of business."