All wavs on this page were sampled at (8 bit mono 11Khz) and all mp3s on this page were sampled at (80kbs 44Khz).

214_25years.wav(174K) 214_25years.mp3(174K) 214_25years.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "Of course!  I haven't seen him in so long!  I remember when I first met him..."

214_abovethelaw.wav(48K) 214_abovethelaw.mp3(48K) 214_abovethelaw.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "I am above the law!"

214_assailant.wav(83K) 214_assailant.mp3(83K) 214_assailant.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Mr. Garrison: "This can't be... this can't be right... MR HAT!"

214_beefy.wav(140K) 214_beefy.mp3(140K) 214_beefy.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Chef: "Nobody wants to see a guy named Cous-Cous... you need a big strong, beefy name."

214_boil.wav(116K) 214_boil.mp3(116K) 214_boil.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Mr. Garrison: "Mr. Twig?  Who did this to you Mr. Twig?  Who!"

214_broken.wav(191K) 214_broken.mp3(191K) 214_broken.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Mr. Garrison: "I promise, nobody will ever hurt you again... ever... Mr Twig are you ok?  Mr Twig?"

214_butler.wav(55K) 214_butler.mp3(55K) 214_butler.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Cartman: "We're trying to raise money for our friend Chef.  Would you like a Mint Crunchy?  Or a Snacky Cake?"

214_cartmansass.wav(39K) 214_cartmansass.mp3(39K) 214_cartmansass.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Kyle: "Wow, this house is huge!"

214_chedd...wav(213K) 214_chedd...mp3(213K) 214_chedd...m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "Oh oh, Cheddar Cheese girl, Cheddar, Cheddar Cheese girl!"

214_chefaid.wav(36K) 214_chefaid.mp3(36K) 214_chefaid.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Stan: "It's easy dude - Chef Aid!"

214_chefgone.wav(67K) 214_chefgone.mp3(67K) 214_chefgone.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Cartman: "No more Salisbury Steak, and Pecan Pie..."

214_chewbacca.wav(579K) 214_chewbacca.mp3(579K) 214_chewbacca.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "If Chewbaca lives on Endor, you must aquit!  The defense rests."

214_closesong.wav(99K) 214_closesong.mp3(99K) 214_closesong.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Chef: "Stinky britches you got stinky britches..."

214_country.wav(215K) 214_country.mp3(215K) 214_country.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "Ween talks about their Country Album."

214_crabtree.wav(174K) 214_crabtree.mp3(174K) 214_crabtree.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Ms. Crabtree: "Alright, lets get this show on the road!  Come here baby!"

214_crispy.wav(48K) 214_crispy.mp3(48K) 214_crispy.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "Yes, of course!  I'll buy three Crispy Yum-yums!"

214_damnproud.wav(141K) 214_damnproud.mp3(141K) 214_damnproud.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "It was Chef who told us to keep trying, and to keep persuing our dreams, no matter how much we sucked."

214_eltonarrives.wav(143K) 214_eltonarrives.mp3(143K) 214_eltonarrives.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "... so I called a few friends, and we all decided to come over!"

214_eltonsong.wav(231K) 214_eltonsong.mp3(231K) 214_eltonsong.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "This is a song written by a very special little boy, I have no idea what his name is, but who cares?"

214_four.wav(54K) 214_four.mp3(54K) 214_four.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Stan: "No, Chef wouldn't give up on us?  How many times has Chef gotten us out of trouble?"

214_fudge.wav(18K) 214_fudge.mp3(18K) 214_fudge.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Chef: "Now get the fudge out of my house!"

214_garrisonjail.wav(94K) 214_garrisonjail.mp3(94K) 214_garrisonjail.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Officer Barbrady: "I'm afraid its the big house for you, fruitcake!"

214_germandance.wav(152K) 214_germandance.mp3(152K) 214_germandance.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Cartman: "...would you like some sauerkraut?  Yes I would like some sauerkraut!..."

214_goal.wav(77K) 214_goal.mp3(77K) 214_goal.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Cartman: "Well, you can see here, we raised approximately $95, falling well short of our 2 million dollar goal..."

214_gotohell.wav(162K) 214_gotohell.mp3(162K) 214_gotohell.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Mr. Garrison: "I'm not going to take you back.  You can just go to hell, you can go to hell and you die!"

214_guilty.wav(63K) 214_guilty.mp3(63K) 214_guilty.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "We find the defendent, Jerome Chef Macelroy guilty as charged!"

214_hesjewish.wav(56K) 214_hesjewish.mp3(56K) 214_hesjewish.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Kyle: "We'll get my dad to be Chef's laywer!"

214_jargon.wav(152K) 214_jargon.mp3(152K) 214_jargon.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Mr. Garrison: "Damnit don't give me that medical jargon, just tell me straight!   Is he going to be ok?"

214_joestrummer.wav(190K) 214_joestrummer.mp3(190K) 214_joestrummer.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "Joe Strummer talks it up to the crowd about Chef."

214_johnnyheart.wav(286K) 214_johnnyheart.mp3(286K) 214_johnnyheart.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "And what happened then?  Well in South Park they say, Johnny Cochran's heart grew 3 sizes that day!"

214_kicknuts.wav(72K) 214_kicknuts.mp3(72K) 214_kicknuts.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Cartman: "Yeah, now get out of here before I kick you in the nuts!"

214_killedkenny.wav(53K) 214_killedkenny.mp3(53K) 214_killedkenny.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Stan: "Oh my god, Ozzy Osbourne bit Kenny's head off!"
Kyle: "You Bastard!"

214_kylemom.wav(136K) 214_kylemom.mp3(136K) 214_kylemom.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Kyle: "Leaving so soon?"

214_love.wav(185K) 214_love.mp3(185K) 214_love.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Mr. Garrison: "I'll never forget you Mr. Twig!"

214_mayor.wav(133K) 214_mayor.mp3(133K) 214_mayor.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Mayor McDaniels: "Sure you are Chef, I'll give you a hundred more for enough rump!"

214_monkey.wav(210K) 214_monkey.mp3(210K) 214_monkey.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "If Chewbaca does not make sense, you must aquit.  Here, look at the monkey!"

214_moreintoit.wav(119K) 214_moreintoit.mp3(119K) 214_moreintoit.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Stan: "Cartman just needs to put more into it!  Dance better Cartman!"

214_mrloaf.wav(72K) 214_mrloaf.mp3(72K) 214_mrloaf.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Cartman: "Mr. Loaf... we are selling candy bars for our dying friend."

214_mrtwigsucks.wav(64K) 214_mrtwigsucks.mp3(64K) 214_mrtwigsucks.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Stan: "But we hate Mr. Twig... Mr. Twig sucks!"

214_onlyhope.wav(27K) 214_onlyhope.mp3(27K) 214_onlyhope.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Chef: "My only hope is to whore myself to every woman in town!"

214_ozzy.wav(287K) 214_ozzy.mp3(287K) 214_ozzy.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "Chef suggested I buy a pompador hat, I thought he said 'bite the head off a bat'.  So I did."

214_rancid.wav(101K) 214_rancid.mp3(101K) 214_rancid.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "Alright, lets get things going with Rancid!"

214_rescue.wav(175K) 214_rescue.mp3(175K) 214_rescue.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Mr. Garrison: "Wow, what a daring rescue!  Mr. Hat!  Mr. Hat saved us Chef!"

214_retain.wav(101K) 214_retain.mp3(101K) 214_retain.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "Sure kid, but I would retain exclusive worldwide rights..."

214_rickjames.wav(79K) 214_rickjames.mp3(79K) 214_rickjames.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "Sure, I'll do anything for Chef!"

214_rickj...wav(55K) 214_rickj...mp3(55K) 214_rickj...m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "Rick James ladies and gentlemen!"

214_scarethehell.wav(101K) 214_scarethehell.mp3(101K) 214_scarethehell.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Cartman: "bleep damn I hate that Cochran guy..."

214_sentence.wav(175K) 214_sentence.mp3(175K) 214_sentence.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "You have 24 hours to find it or else you'll have to go to jail for eight million years!"

214_smackchef.wav(64K) 214_smackchef.mp3(64K) 214_smackchef.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Chef: "Ow!  What did you do that for?"

214_sodomized.wav(99K) 214_sodomized.mp3(99K) 214_sodomized.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Chef: "Well... I'll be sodomized on Christmas!"

214_splitperson.wav(143K) 214_splitperson.mp3(143K) 214_splitperson.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Chef: "You finally snapped, huh Garrison?  Don't you get it, Garrison, its all you.  You're Mr. Hat and Mr. Twig!"

214_stable.wav(74K) 214_stable.mp3(74K) 214_stable.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Mr. Garrison: "Mr. Twig is far more stable then Mr. Hat was... he's far more stable!"

214_stink...wav(158K) 214_stink...mp3(158K) 214_stink...m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Cartman: "...this new song by Alanis Morisette... Stinky Britches, you got stinky Britches!"

214_takea...wav(38K) 214_takea...mp3(38K) 214_takea...m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Mr. Garrison: "I warn you Chef, don't even think about taking advantage of me in this prison cell."

214_thelaw.wav(29K) 214_thelaw.mp3(29K) 214_thelaw.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Chef: "That's the law!"

214_trial...wav(106K) 214_trial...mp3(106K) 214_trial...m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "And on the 15th day of what is considered to be the most important trial of the..er, day..."

214_tuna.wav(25K) 214_tuna.mp3(25K) 214_tuna.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Chef: "Tomorrow is tuna cassarole."

214_uhoh.wav(83K) 214_uhoh.mp3(83K) 214_uhoh.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Kyle: "Chef, that's Johnny Cochran... that's the guy that got OJ off!"

214_wehelped.wav(92K) 214_wehelped.mp3(92K) 214_wehelped.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Chef: "Mr. Hat busted me out... Children, did you do this?!"

214_weirdo.wav(48K) 214_weirdo.mp3(48K) 214_weirdo.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "Weirdo!"

214_whooo.wav(56K) 214_whooo.mp3(56K) 214_whooo.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "Thanks for coming to Chef Aid everyone.  Are you ready to rock and roll?  Whoo!"

214_whoring.wav(108K) 214_whoring.mp3(108K) 214_whoring.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Kyle: "But we can put our money together with the money you made whoring yourself to all of those women!"

214_yearsago.wav(108K) 214_yearsago.mp3(108K) 214_yearsago.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Chef: "Stinky Britches was something I wrote several years ago."

214_yumyums.wav(42K) 214_yumyums.mp3(42K) 214_yumyums.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "You bet!  Gimme a box of Vanilla Yum Yums and a box of Berry Bars!"