All wavs on this page were sampled at (8 bit mono 11Khz) and all mp3s on this page were sampled at (80kbs 44Khz).

307_8days.wav(21K) 307_8days.mp3(21K) 307_8days.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "C'mon babe, how long have we known each other..."

307_accident.wav(88K) 307_accident.mp3(88K) 307_accident.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "Eric, your Mom's been in an accident... we need to run over to the hospital and identify her body!"

307_aliens.wav(38K) 307_aliens.mp3(38K) 307_aliens.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "And now back to the movie of the week... "Aliens"."

307_alleycat.wav(109K) 307_alleycat.mp3(109K) 307_alleycat.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "Kitty gets it on with the fat alleycat."

307_answe...wav(18K) 307_answe...mp3(18K) 307_answe...m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "That's my boyfriend.  Go answer the door while I make sure I don't have food in my braces."

307_astroturd.wav(25K) 307_astroturd.mp3(25K) 307_astroturd.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "Go on, Astroturd!"

307_badkitty.wav(55K) 307_badkitty.mp3(55K) 307_badkitty.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "No Kitty, I dn't have anything... what the hell is wrong with you, stop it!"

307_bears.wav(16K) 307_bears.mp3(16K) 307_bears.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "And make sure he wipes good after he makes bears."

307_beaut...wav(93K) 307_beaut...mp3(93K) 307_beaut...m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "Yes yes, what a beautiful night... it is Saturday, the 12 at ten forty-five..."

307_begood.wav(25K) 307_begood.mp3(25K) 307_begood.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "Ok muffin, mommy's leaving now.  You do what the babysitter tells you, ok?"

307_besto...wav(19K) 307_besto...mp3(19K) 307_besto...m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "Isn't this guitar awesome?  Its the best of its kind, and not a scratch on it."

307_bigtime.wav(31K) 307_bigtime.mp3(31K) 307_bigtime.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "When I make it to the bigtime, I'm going to take you shopping and buy you lots of badass stuff."

307_bootu...wav(33K) 307_bootu...mp3(33K) 307_bootu...m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "I'm the guy who's gonna put a boot up your ass if you don't tell me where Shelly is."

307_bullcrap.wav(28K) 307_bullcrap.mp3(28K) 307_bullcrap.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "This is bullcrap... I can't reach the freezer!"

307_bustdowndo...wav(50K) 307_bustdowndo...mp3(50K) 307_bustdowndo...m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "You're never going to get this picture.   Not until my mom comes home and I prove you had a boyfriend over here."

307_busted.wav(52K) 307_busted.mp3(52K) 307_busted.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "Oh yeah, oh yeah, a wickee wickee Wild West!   Shelly?  Guess who's busted?"

307_callmom.wav(130K) 307_callmom.mp3(130K) 307_callmom.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "Cartman tries to call his mom, as Shelly uses the telephone."

307_catnip.wav(84K) 307_catnip.mp3(84K) 307_catnip.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "bleepdamnit Kitty, you'e got to calm down.   Here, I'll get you some catnip."

307_catorgy.wav(34K) 307_catorgy.mp3(34K) 307_catorgy.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "You are all very bad kittys!  That is a bad, bad kitty!"

307_catsex.wav(50K) 307_catsex.mp3(50K) 307_catsex.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "The sounds of cats having sex."

307_chara...wav(31K) 307_chara...mp3(31K) 307_chara...m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "Haha!  Charade you are!  Looks like you're the turd now!"

307_cherish.wav(41K) 307_cherish.mp3(41K) 307_cherish.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "I cherish you, almost as much as I cherish my guitar."

307_cowboyhat.wav(13K) 307_cowboyhat.mp3(13K) 307_cowboyhat.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "... just let me get my cowboy hat."

307_crappyband.wav(11K) 307_crappyband.mp3(11K) 307_crappyband.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "There's a whole crappy band here!  Can you hear them?  Can you hear them?"

307_damnit.wav(48K) 307_damnit.mp3(48K) 307_damnit.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "Ok... lets see here... ah ha!  Damnit!"

307_demon...wav(51K) 307_demon...mp3(51K) 307_demon...m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "Demons from hell seek the chosen one!"

307_dobetter.wav(62K) 307_dobetter.mp3(62K) 307_dobetter.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "I'd like to see you do any better, bitch."

307_dreams.wav(12K) 307_dreams.mp3(12K) 307_dreams.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "Don't stand between me and my dreams, babe!"

307_eskimokisses.wav(26K) 307_eskimokisses.mp3(26K) 307_eskimokisses.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "Eskimo kisses for mommy!"

307_explain.wav(55K) 307_explain.mp3(55K) 307_explain.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "Ooooh, what a party that was..... (thunk!)"

307_freshcowboy.wav(55K) 307_freshcowboy.mp3(55K) 307_freshcowboy.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "...gonna go save Salma Hayek from the big bad spider, wickee wickee wickee wickee fresh cowboy from the west side!"

307_gay.wav(58K) 307_gay.mp3(58K) 307_gay.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "You guys get out, don't questions my love.   My love is as pure as the morning snow!"

307_getalong.wav(34K) 307_getalong.mp3(34K) 307_getalong.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "You know Eric, its kinda cool that two people who hated each other can be friends."

307_giveitup.wav(35K) 307_giveitup.mp3(35K) 307_giveitup.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "No Skyler, I'm not putting out for you... because I'm 12."

307_goldentime.wav(38K) 307_goldentime.mp3(38K) 307_goldentime.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "...5 percents bumps every hour after that up to 6 hours that enters into goldentime."

307_goods.wav(23K) 307_goods.mp3(23K) 307_goods.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "You're not going to trick me... I've got the goods on you!"

307_heat.wav(16K) 307_heat.mp3(16K) 307_heat.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "And don't mind the cat.  She's just being loud because she's in heat."

307_heslike50.wav(42K) 307_heslike50.mp3(42K) 307_heslike50.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "What?  He's like 50 years old!"

307_imincharge.wav(60K) 307_imincharge.mp3(60K) 307_imincharge.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "You're nothing but a little turd.  You're a stinky dried up little turd, you got it?"

307_immature22.wav(35K) 307_immature22.mp3(35K) 307_immature22.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "But I'm still in high school!  I told you, I'm a very immature 22 year old."

307_instructions.wav(66K) 307_instructions.mp3(66K) 307_instructions.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "If his little woogums get cold, you can turn up the heat over here... and if he gets cranky..."

307_killp...wav(158K) 307_killp...mp3(158K) 307_killp...m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "James West, cowboy and rap star!  Quick Artemis Clyde Frog, we've got to save Selma Hayak..."

307_kittyparty.wav(80K) 307_kittyparty.mp3(80K) 307_kittyparty.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "The cats start to party... complete with 70's porn beat."

307_lastweek.wav(37K) 307_lastweek.mp3(37K) 307_lastweek.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "I just think your sound is kinda... last week."

307_leftcrusts.wav(23K) 307_leftcrusts.mp3(23K) 307_leftcrusts.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "Hey, you ate all the pizza!"

307_lette...wav(49K) 307_lette...mp3(49K) 307_lette...m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "Should anything happen to me, that letter will go out... and you will never find it."

307_lovescene.wav(61K) 307_lovescene.mp3(61K) 307_lovescene.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "But Mommm, me and Artemis Clyde Frog still have to do our love scene with Salma Hayek."

307_lush.wav(13K) 307_lush.mp3(13K) 307_lush.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "Luckily for us, my Mom's a total lush."

307_mackee.wav(25K) 307_mackee.mp3(25K) 307_mackee.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "Oh!  Oh!  Mr. Mackee!"

307_markmywor...wav(25K) 307_markmywor...mp3(25K) 307_markmywor...m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "I'm going to get her Kitty... mark my words!   SHUT THE HELL UP KITTY!"

307_matingseason.wav(26K) 307_matingseason.mp3(26K) 307_matingseason.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "...the gold coat lions are in the throes of mating season."

307_megusta.wav(25K) 307_megusta.mp3(25K) 307_megusta.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "Yes, but I need to get out of here, I need some tacos and burritos.  Me gusta tacos mucho!"

307_meteorshow...wav(45K) 307_meteorshow...mp3(45K) 307_meteorshow...m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "Will you tell me what it looks like, the Meteor Shower?  They mostly only come every few years... mostly."

307_motherisaw...wav(27K) 307_motherisaw...mp3(27K) 307_motherisaw...m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "It is Saturday, the 12th, at ten forty-five, and my mother is away at a party right now..."

307_moveinon.wav(21K) 307_moveinon.mp3(21K) 307_moveinon.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "If you're not putting out then I'm movin' on!   There's plenty of chicks like you out here."

307_mrwinkey.wav(19K) 307_mrwinkey.mp3(19K) 307_mrwinkey.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "The female lion relaxes her body and says hello to Mr. Winky."

307_nannyvideos.wav(16K) 307_nannyvideos.mp3(16K) 307_nannyvideos.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "You can't hit me.  Didn't you see those nanny videos on TV?"

307_newsong.wav(265K) 307_newsong.mp3(265K) 307_newsong.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "Skyler's song about Shelly."

307_noclothes.wav(21K) 307_noclothes.mp3(21K) 307_noclothes.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "Over here, please, help me!  I am lost and I have no clothes."

307_notcool.wav(5K) 307_notcool.mp3(5K) 307_notcool.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "Dude, that's not cool!"

307_noyoudont.wav(30K) 307_noyoudont.mp3(30K) 307_noyoudont.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "Well, I just kinda like having you around..."

307_pizza.wav(28K) 307_pizza.mp3(28K) 307_pizza.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "Well go put that pizza in the oven, bitch, I'm hungry."

307_prudebitch.wav(27K) 307_prudebitch.mp3(27K) 307_prudebitch.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "Screw you prude bitch, me and my bad ass guitar are going home.  Hasta!"

307_quick...wav(42K) 307_quick...mp3(42K) 307_quick...m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "Whoa, that's quick thinking Artemis Clyde Frog!"

307_quitit.wav(14K) 307_quitit.mp3(14K) 307_quitit.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "No Skyler, quit it!"

307_refreshments.wav(15K) 307_refreshments.mp3(15K) 307_refreshments.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "Come in the kitchen, Skyler.  There's refreshments."

307_richa...wav(28K) 307_richa...mp3(28K) 307_richa...m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "That does it, I'm calling my mom and busting your ass!"

307_rocks.wav(14K) 307_rocks.mp3(14K) 307_rocks.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "Yeah dude, that was hot!  This guitar rocks man!  It rocks!"

307_ruinedcareer.wav(62K) 307_ruinedcareer.mp3(62K) 307_ruinedcareer.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "Your two ruined my career... I'm going to get you!"

307_runkitty.wav(96K) 307_runkitty.mp3(96K) 307_runkitty.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "When you return, be sure you bring mommy through the back door.  Hurry Kitty!  You're my only hope!"

307_savedtheday.wav(20K) 307_savedtheday.mp3(20K) 307_savedtheday.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "We saved the day!  Wild Wild West!   Wild Wild Wild West.  A-yo wickee wickee..."

307_saveme.wav(29K) 307_saveme.mp3(29K) 307_saveme.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "Save me!  Who will save me?"

307_screwed.wav(59K) 307_screwed.mp3(59K) 307_screwed.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "But the female doesn't leave.  No, she's moving right in.  It looks as if the male lion is screwed."

307_screw...wav(25K) 307_screw...mp3(25K) 307_screw...m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "Screw you bitch, I've got plenty of other girlfriends that will!"

307_scumbag.wav(52K) 307_scumbag.mp3(52K) 307_scumbag.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "I mean, what kinda scumbag bleephole dates twelve year old girls?"

307_sentthecat.wav(22K) 307_sentthecat.mp3(22K) 307_sentthecat.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "I knew you sent the cat!  And that's why I went outside and got him!"

307_shellysong.wav(262K) 307_shellysong.mp3(262K) 307_shellysong.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "Shelly's song about Turds."

307_shell...wav(37K) 307_shell...mp3(37K) 307_shell...m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "Do you have anything to say Skyler, Shelly's boyfriend who is sitting right he-yah?"

307_sheshot.wav(42K) 307_sheshot.mp3(42K) 307_sheshot.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "Salma Hayak?  Whoaaa, she's hot!"

307_shutupkitty.wav(20K) 307_shutupkitty.mp3(20K) 307_shutupkitty.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "SHUT UP KITTY!"

307_sister.wav(133K) 307_sister.mp3(133K) 307_sister.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "...maybe sometimes, I can pretend like you're my big sister, and you can kinda watch over me..."

307_slipnslide.wav(27K) 307_slipnslide.mp3(27K) 307_slipnslide.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "If we save her, I'm going to take off her pants and play slip and slide!"

307_snookytime.wav(9K) 307_snookytime.mp3(9K) 307_snookytime.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "Eric's snookytime is nine o'clock sharp!"

307_sostupid.wav(42K) 307_sostupid.mp3(42K) 307_sostupid.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "He acted like he really liked me.  Nobody ever liked me before.  I can't believe I trusted him!  I'm so stupid."

307_speak...wav(40K) 307_speak...mp3(40K) 307_speak...m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "And when I have yours and your boyfriends voices on my "Speak and Record Bear", you'll mostly never babysit me again."

307_sphincter.wav(14K) 307_sphincter.mp3(14K) 307_sphincter.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "...dime a dozen sphincter loving turds... TURDS!"

307_spider.wav(40K) 307_spider.mp3(40K) 307_spider.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "Look out Artemis Clyde Frog, its a giant metal spider.  Bang bang bang, yo yo yo gettin jiggy with it, bang bang!"

307_stuff...wav(21K) 307_stuff...mp3(21K) 307_stuff...m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "Stupid bleephole stuffed animals trying to ruin my n ight!"

307_suppl...wav(18K) 307_suppl...mp3(18K) 307_suppl...m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "The male lion is enticed by the female's supple breasts and firm backside."

307_swollenbal...wav(38K) 307_swollenbal...mp3(38K) 307_swollenbal...m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "Notice his large swollen balls."

307_testing.wav(21K) 307_testing.mp3(21K) 307_testing.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "Testing, testing, one two.... SWEET."

307_thats...wav(120K) 307_thats...mp3(120K) 307_thats...m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "I'm a bad ass cowboy living in a cowboy's age.. wickee wickee fat yo yo bang bang..."

307_think...wav(30K) 307_think...mp3(30K) 307_think...m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "That is of course the age of my baby sitter, Shelly Marsh, age 12."

307_trickedme.wav(47K) 307_trickedme.mp3(47K) 307_trickedme.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "Please help me, I will give you tacos!"

307_tummyrubru...wav(13K) 307_tummyrubru...mp3(13K) 307_tummyrubru...m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "And if he gets cranky, just play tummy rub rubs with him."

307_turdboy.wav(11K) 307_turdboy.mp3(11K) 307_turdboy.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "I have to go deal with turdboy."

307_turdcoat.wav(13K) 307_turdcoat.mp3(13K) 307_turdcoat.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "Ok, get your turd coat, you can come see the meteor shower with us."

307_turdledove.wav(24K) 307_turdledove.mp3(24K) 307_turdledove.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "Open this door, turdledove!"

307_turdman.wav(20K) 307_turdman.mp3(20K) 307_turdman.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "You're the turdman of Alcatraz!"

307_turdsandwi...wav(40K) 307_turdsandwi...mp3(40K) 307_turdsandwi...m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "Your mom doesn't get home for three more hours.   That's plenty of time for me to make a turd sandwich outta you."

307_turdstick.wav(48K) 307_turdstick.mp3(48K) 307_turdstick.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "You make us that pizza before I break you in half like the little turdstick you are."

307_turdtrick.wav(26K) 307_turdtrick.mp3(26K) 307_turdtrick.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "Ha ha!  I knew it was a turd trick and I opened the door because Mr. Kitty is on the way to my mom's party..."

307_turdwedgie.wav(43K) 307_turdwedgie.mp3(43K) 307_turdwedgie.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "When my mom finds out that my babysitter's had their boyfriends over, she mostly gets mad... mostly."

307_ugly.wav(50K) 307_ugly.mp3(50K) 307_ugly.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "Well, you're pretty ugly, but you don't have to be dating 22 year olds."

307_wilda...wav(214K) 307_wilda...mp3(214K) 307_wilda...m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "And now... back to Wild Animal World."

307_wildwildwe...wav(158K) 307_wildwildwe...mp3(158K) 307_wildwildwe...m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "The complete Wild Wild West play scene."

307_woogums.wav(13K) 307_woogums.mp3(13K) 307_woogums.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "If his little woogums get cold, you can turn up the heat over here."

307_youreok.wav(20K) 307_youreok.mp3(20K) 307_youreok.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "You know, as far as turds go, you're ok!"