All wavs on this page were sampled at (8 bit mono 11Khz) and all mp3s on this page were sampled at (80kbs 44Khz).

316_agenda.wav(27K) 316_agenda.mp3(27K) 316_agenda.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "We're going to talk about our periods, and boys, lets talk about boys first."

316_auldlangsyne.wav(79K) 316_auldlangsyne.mp3(79K) 316_auldlangsyne.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "A rather pukish rendition of Auld Lang Syne."

316_bitnervous.wav(25K) 316_bitnervous.mp3(25K) 316_bitnervous.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "It looks like the little fellah is a bit nervous..."

316_boys.wav(44K) 316_boys.mp3(44K) 316_boys.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "I think Craig is pretty cool, but I don't think Clyde is very cool."

316_canihelpyou.wav(113K) 316_canihelpyou.mp3(113K) 316_canihelpyou.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "Um, its the millennium, Jesus."

316_cantbelast.wav(38K) 316_cantbelast.mp3(38K) 316_cantbelast.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "All the gusy are getting they're periods, and I don't think I am!"

316_cartm...wav(54K) 316_cartm...mp3(54K) 316_cartm...m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "Well its when puberty hits and you bleed, you know, down there..."

316_coolplace.wav(14K) 316_coolplace.mp3(14K) 316_coolplace.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "Hey, Las Vegas is a pretty cool place for us mature people."

316_cracker.wav(11K) 316_cracker.mp3(11K) 316_cracker.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "What's the matter, little cracker?"

316_dontfeelbad.wav(16K) 316_dontfeelbad.mp3(16K) 316_dontfeelbad.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "Hey, don't feel bad Stan, some of us just mature a little later then others."

316_every...wav(36K) 316_every...mp3(36K) 316_every...m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "I'm not even supposed to have my period!"

316_fatass.wav(30K) 316_fatass.mp3(30K) 316_fatass.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "What, fatass?"

316_father.wav(170K) 316_father.mp3(170K) 316_father.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "Father, I need to talk to you."

316_first...wav(28K) 316_first...mp3(28K) 316_first...m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "Now, for our first club activity."

316_gayes...wav(49K) 316_gayes...mp3(49K) 316_gayes...m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "I'm here live  in Las Vegas in what is quickly becoming known as the gayest party ever."

316_gentlearms.wav(57K) 316_gentlearms.mp3(57K) 316_gentlearms.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "And he lifts me up with his gentle arms..."

316_goodj...wav(43K) 316_goodj...mp3(43K) 316_goodj...m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "I was overcome with my new popularity and I let pride get in the way of good judgement."

316_goodmorning.wav(37K) 316_goodmorning.mp3(37K) 316_goodmorning.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "Good morning, South Park!"

316_great...wav(32K) 316_great...mp3(32K) 316_great...m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "Hey, Rod, great to see you!"

316_hatesme.wav(45K) 316_hatesme.mp3(45K) 316_hatesme.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "Jesus, why does God hate me?"

316_hellostan.wav(39K) 316_hellostan.mp3(39K) 316_hellostan.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "Oh, hello Stan!"

316_hereheis.wav(165K) 316_hereheis.mp3(165K) 316_hereheis.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "Ladies and Gentleman, here he is, as promised, Mr. Rod "Do you Think I'm Sexy" Stewart!"

316_hesneat.wav(30K) 316_hesneat.mp3(30K) 316_hesneat.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "He's neat, mommy."

316_hormones.wav(71K) 316_hormones.mp3(71K) 316_hormones.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "Who never went through puberty?"

316_ihave...wav(88K) 316_ihave...mp3(88K) 316_ihave...m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "How come I haven't gotten my period yet?"

316_ike.wav(12K) 316_ike.mp3(12K) 316_ike.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "Ike, can I talk to you?"

316_ikeadvice.wav(134K) 316_ikeadvice.mp3(134K) 316_ikeadvice.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "Ike, I don't know what to do..."

316_invegas.wav(23K) 316_invegas.mp3(23K) 316_invegas.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "I've got to catch a plane to Las Vegas to see the Rod Stewart Millennium Show."

316_ivegotboobs.wav(16K) 316_ivegotboobs.mp3(16K) 316_ivegotboobs.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "Whoa dude, I've got boobs!"

316_jesusletter.wav(81K) 316_jesusletter.mp3(81K) 316_jesusletter.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "Are you there God, its me, Jesus..."

316_jumpi...wav(39K) 316_jumpi...mp3(39K) 316_jumpi...m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "I can just say I got my period!"

316_justfourdays.wav(84K) 316_justfourdays.mp3(84K) 316_justfourdays.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "All over the world people are starting to celebrate by dancing and singing and killing one another."

316_kennysperiod.wav(31K) 316_kennysperiod.mp3(31K) 316_kennysperiod.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "Kenny gets his period."

316_knewyoucould.wav(24K) 316_knewyoucould.mp3(24K) 316_knewyoucould.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "We knew you could do it, Jesus!"

316_leftout.wav(46K) 316_leftout.mp3(46K) 316_leftout.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "I might not even get to be their friend anymore."

316_littleboy.wav(46K) 316_littleboy.mp3(46K) 316_littleboy.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "Oh look, its that little boy who hasn't gotten his period yet!"

316_littleolder.wav(54K) 316_littleolder.mp3(54K) 316_littleolder.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "He's gotten a little older but you're gonna see how much he can still rock."

316_livei...wav(121K) 316_livei...mp3(121K) 316_livei...m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "Jesus bleep, our Lord and Savior, is presenting Rod Stewart, the undisputed King of Pop, right here at this hotel behind me."

316_localnews.wav(52K) 316_localnews.mp3(52K) 316_localnews.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "In local news, a stomach virus is going around that is causing bleeding of the colon in some small children."

316_lookstan.wav(15K) 316_lookstan.mp3(15K) 316_lookstan.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "Look, Stan, do you really know what a period is?"

316_lovehelping.wav(8K) 316_lovehelping.mp3(8K) 316_lovehelping.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "I just love helping people."

316_makeusone.wav(48K) 316_makeusone.mp3(48K) 316_makeusone.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "Yes, puberty is a very wonderful thing, Stan."

316_mature.wav(49K) 316_mature.mp3(49K) 316_mature.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "I got my period and you guys didn't!"

316_maturenow.wav(24K) 316_maturenow.mp3(24K) 316_maturenow.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "Look, Kenny and I are mature now."

316_menst...wav(175K) 316_menst...mp3(175K) 316_menst...m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "Stan, let me sing you a little song about the menstrual cycle."

316_mypleasure.wav(46K) 316_mypleasure.mp3(46K) 316_mypleasure.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "Tell your father to take just one of these pills every week."

316_nicetitties.wav(47K) 316_nicetitties.mp3(47K) 316_nicetitties.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "Wow Stan, you really got some nice titties there."

316_nopoint.wav(57K) 316_nopoint.mp3(57K) 316_nopoint.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "If God answered all our prayers, there'd be nothing left for us to do ourselves."

316_notfair.wav(61K) 316_notfair.mp3(61K) 316_notfair.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "And then the next day you're at the bottom again because everyone has blood come out of there ass...."

316_nothi...wav(54K) 316_nothi...mp3(54K) 316_nothi...m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "I'm sorry, there was nothing we could do."

316_onequestion.wav(70K) 316_onequestion.mp3(70K) 316_onequestion.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "Since it is the end of the first 2000 years, I will allow you, my children, to ask me one quesiton."

316_pardonthepun.wav(50K) 316_pardonthepun.mp3(50K) 316_pardonthepun.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "Perhaps the children are all shoving tampons up their ass because they've seen the Backstreet Boys doing it on TV or something."

316_period.wav(38K) 316_period.mp3(38K) 316_period.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "Well, because yesterday, I got my period."

316_perioded.wav(77K) 316_perioded.mp3(77K) 316_perioded.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "You guys, I got my period too!"

316_pooped.wav(67K) 316_pooped.mp3(67K) 316_pooped.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "You pooped your pants?"

316_reallybusy.wav(46K) 316_reallybusy.mp3(46K) 316_reallybusy.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "Are you there God, its me, Stan."

316_reconsider.wav(36K) 316_reconsider.mp3(36K) 316_reconsider.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "Father, will you please reconsider and show up tomorrow?"

316_rewarded.wav(76K) 316_rewarded.mp3(76K) 316_rewarded.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "And ye who believe in me shall be rewarded!"

316_riot.wav(64K) 316_riot.mp3(64K) 316_riot.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "The riot."

316_rockt...wav(45K) 316_rockt...mp3(45K) 316_rockt...m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "Alright people, are we ready to rock the Millennium?"

316_rollcall.wav(44K) 316_rollcall.mp3(44K) 316_rollcall.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "Is everyone accounted for?"

316_seasoned.wav(27K) 316_seasoned.mp3(27K) 316_seasoned.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "Rod is a seasoned veteran so going to have to ask for a bit more cash."

316_shoul...wav(24K) 316_shoul...mp3(24K) 316_shoul...m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "Dude, I don't think 8 year olds are supposed to take hormones."

316_somethingbig.wav(41K) 316_somethingbig.mp3(41K) 316_somethingbig.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "After reviewing the Bible, it does say that something big is going to happen at the Millennium."

316_somethingnew.wav(101K) 316_somethingnew.mp3(101K) 316_somethingnew.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "We want to see God!"

316_soontoo.wav(22K) 316_soontoo.mp3(22K) 316_soontoo.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "Dude, Cartman can't hit puberty before us!"

316_spirituality.wav(25K) 316_spirituality.mp3(25K) 316_spirituality.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "Ok, today's word is spirituality..."

316_stansletter.wav(41K) 316_stansletter.mp3(41K) 316_stansletter.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "Stan's letter to God."

316_startitup.wav(32K) 316_startitup.mp3(32K) 316_startitup.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "We've got about 4 hours to the New Year and so I think its time to start it up!"

316_start...wav(51K) 316_start...mp3(51K) 316_start...m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "Dude, did you get your period yet?"

316_suppo...wav(68K) 316_suppo...mp3(68K) 316_suppo...m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "Meanwhile, more and more people are showing up to show their support for Jesus."

316_sureglad.wav(37K) 316_sureglad.mp3(37K) 316_sureglad.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "The folks are sure glad you're playing."

316_swimmingly.wav(78K) 316_swimmingly.mp3(78K) 316_swimmingly.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "Now lets talk about our periods."

316_tampons.wav(34K) 316_tampons.mp3(34K) 316_tampons.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "Did you get your Maxi Pads, Kenny?"

316_terrible.wav(49K) 316_terrible.mp3(49K) 316_terrible.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "I'm not bleeding outta my ass!!!"

316_thankstom.wav(91K) 316_thankstom.mp3(91K) 316_thankstom.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "If Jesus comes out of his house and is not scared by his shadow it means the next 1000 years will be full of peace and love."

316_thatd...wav(41K) 316_thatd...mp3(41K) 316_thatd...m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "Hey wait, that doesn't count as our question does it?"

316_thatsgod.wav(42K) 316_thatsgod.mp3(42K) 316_thatsgod.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "That's God?"

316_thegoddess.wav(61K) 316_thegoddess.mp3(61K) 316_thegoddess.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "I believe that the Goddess in me is my spirituality."

316_thisfriend.wav(57K) 316_thisfriend.mp3(57K) 316_thisfriend.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "I have, this friend, see..."

316_timetoleave.wav(24K) 316_timetoleave.mp3(24K) 316_timetoleave.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "Stanly, wake up honey, its time to leave for Las Vegas!"

316_wewantgod.wav(94K) 316_wewantgod.mp3(94K) 316_wewantgod.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "We want God!  We want God!"

316_whatd...wav(53K) 316_whatd...mp3(53K) 316_whatd...m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "What did you expect me to look like, my son?"

316_whatd...wav(48K) 316_whatd...mp3(48K) 316_whatd...m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "Well, God can't just answer every prayer."

316_whatk...wav(54K) 316_whatk...mp3(54K) 316_whatk...m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "What happened, what killed him, doctor?"

316_whaty...wav(28K) 316_whaty...mp3(28K) 316_whaty...m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "So, what your saying is this person shouldn't be bummed because everybody has their period at a different time."

316_wings.wav(65K) 316_wings.mp3(65K) 316_wings.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "Ooh, this one's got wings, you guys!"

316_woohoo.wav(71K) 316_woohoo.mp3(71K) 316_woohoo.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "You got your period too, Kenny?"

316_youareaman.wav(39K) 316_youareaman.mp3(39K) 316_youareaman.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "You will hit puberty when the time is right, but you will never have a period because you are a man, with titties."

316_youcame.wav(57K) 316_youcame.mp3(57K) 316_youcame.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "Father, you came!"

316_youngerkids.wav(36K) 316_youngerkids.mp3(36K) 316_youngerkids.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "Well, we're going with our families to Las Vegas."

316_yourwhat.wav(40K) 316_yourwhat.mp3(40K) 316_yourwhat.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

: "You got your what?"